I have not been writing as much as I'd like to write and it makes me sad.  I wish I had more time.  But time is a luxury I don't have a lot to spare.

I've been working a lot lately.  Sure, full time is full time, 40 hours a week, but there's so much prep time to work.  Getting up early and getting ready for work, ironing scrubs, making lunches, showering, etc, it all takes time and it's hard to get anything else done while getting ready for work.  Travel time adds up, too, even though I have a relatively short commute.  And it's been VERY busy at work.  On a normal 8-hour day, I see about 8 patients, around 400 minutes of my 8-hour work day is direct therapy care.  But since it's been so busy lately, I've been averaging about 500+ minutes each day.  How does that happen?  Seeing more than one patient at a time, and by running groups.  Groups!  Groups!  If you work in a nursing home physical therapy, you probably get the group thing a lot, because Medicare laws are about to make a BIG change and they are really encouraging GROUPS.  Well, I'm just about grouped-the-F out.  BLAH.  Maybe I'm just being a baby.  whatever.

I haven't been going to the gym lately.  At all.  Shame on me.  Not for lack of motivation, but for lack of energy.  I have none left at the end of the day and I just can't bring myself to pull into the gym when I'm driving home.  I know all I want to do is relax after working, and I will use too much of my precious energy at the gym, and well... since coming home from Germany, I've probably only been to the gym about 7 times.  But this week, I resolve to go more often.  I'm going to aim for everyday, but I will be happy with 3x's this week, haha.

Last weekend, I ventured to Washington.  I ate lunch with my Pap (stopped at Sheetz for a wrap but didn't want to eat it in the car, so stopped at the cemetary to visit Pap's grave, and ate lunch there with him) and it made me realize just how much I miss him, and how much I've missed him over the last 3 years.  I miss his voice and his little sayings that were only cute/funny when he said them.  I miss his smell.  I wish he could've been at my wedding - what I wouldn't have given to have been able to dance with him at my wedding... And it made me really think about the whole concept of dying.  Is it just like falling asleep but never waking up?  Or is there a finality that you experience and you know "this is it, it's the end?"  Is there really a heaven?  Are we young again in heaven?  Or are we trapped at whatever age we die?  Then my mind made wandered to a more recent loss - my uncle Bob - and I still can't believe that he's gone.  I think of my Aunt Joan often and my cousins, how they're dealing with everything... Death, man, it's a freaking bitch... Anyway, after lunch with Pap, I went to my Grandma's house and visited with her for a bit.  Abby met me there and we went swimming with Travis and Trevor.  Later Caitlin and her bf Dan came over and swam with us, too.  It was fun to visit with everyone.  Later, I was talking with Grandma and she started talking about cleaning out some of her house, like going through things and trying to see if she can give things away that people might want.  She knows that her time will come to rejoin Pap, and she doesn't want to leave behind a lot of "junk" for the family to say "What the hell are we going to do with all this stuff??"  She gave me a favor from my wedding that she had saved, which I happily accepted.  She was also telling me about her plate collection and doesn't know what she's going to do with it, doubts anyone will want it, but doesn't want to "get rid" of it because it's special to her... and it almost broke my heart to hear her talk [indirectly] about dying.  It was the perfect gateway for me to ask her something that I never knew how to ask her.

Ever since I was little, at Christmastime, Grandma has this framed needle point and embroidered picture which she did herself, that she hangs on the wall in the living room over top of a couch.  I remember looking at the scene in the frame - a small village, with a horse drawn sleigh, people ice skating, houses with smoke coming from the chimneys, Santa's sleigh in the sky - and loving the entire thing, imagining that those people were real, that the village was real and that they were having a perfect Christmas... yeah, I had a very vivid imagination as a child, haha.  Anyway, I've always wanted to ask Grandma if I could have that some day (ie: after she died), but how do you ask someone that without sounding insensitive?  The conversation we had last Saturday was the perfect time for me to ask her.  She knew exactly what decoration I was talking about.  She looked thoughtful for a second and I thought perhaps I was too late, perhaps someone had already asked for it.  But she said no, no one else has asked to have it, and that it will be mine someday.  She said she will put my name on the back of it so there will be no confusion when the day comes to go through her belongings.  Oh Grandma...    Later, I met up with my mom and we went to The Meadows casino in WashPa, where she won $700 (!!!) on a slot machine!  Then we had dinner at Texas Roadhouse with Abby.  I spent the night at my mom's and drove home on Sunday.  All the while, Matt was in Vegas for a work conference.

*

This morning I cleaned the house a little bit.  Put some things away, vacuumed, dusted, and unloaded/reloaded the dishwasher.  I'm trying to keep the house in relatively good-looking condition because 1) I like a clean-ish house (i like a lived-in feel, not an overly freakish clean house), 2) I want to get in the habit of cleaning more often because I let it get out of control waaaay too often and 3) our puppy will be here in 2 weeks and I want things to be put away so the puppy will not have many things to chew on.  Later, Matt and I went to the mall and we got some clothes... just what we need! *sarcasm*  Then we went to AAA to meet Pete, my mom and sister so we could transfer the title of Matt's old car to give to my sister.  The guy at AAA was a real douchebag and was a dick about most of it, but after 1 1/2 hours (!!!), Abby has a new car   Then we went to Matt's parents house to clean out the car and afterwards went to get a late lunch at Sharkey's in Latrobe.  All in all, it was a nice day.  Can't complain too much.

I've been trying to write more to my fiction story called SMILE, but have not been very successful.  I always get in the mood to write while I'm at work, but I obviously can't write while I'm at work, so when I get some time to do it, I'm not in the mood.  I was actually going to write right now, but couldn't do it, so I wrote this blog instead.

Tomorrow Matt leaves me again for five days.  He's joining his parents in a trip to South Cac (SC) to visit Melissa.  I wish I could go, but I need to work to rack up my PTO for October when I'm taking off Oct 5-14 to go to Mexico, so I guess it's an even exchange, right?  I don't mind the time alone.  I don't get scared to be alone in the house.  I have Hermie to keep me company.  It will give me time to do some more cleaning to get the house puppy-proof!  Next weekend, we're going fishing in Ashtabula for some walleye and I hope it's better than last years trip that got cancelled because of terrible weather.  When we get home on Sunday, we're going to have quite the huge bonfire and fireworks display at the in-laws.  The weekend after that, Friday after work, Matt and I will be driving to Gettysburg, sleeping over, and then picking up our puppy Saturday morning and driving home Saturday!  Very excited about the new addition to the family.

On a closing note, I finally changed my last name to my married name.  It's official now.  It only took me 3 years!

Stuttgart.

Matt's friend Christian lives in Stuttgart with his family and I can't wait to meet them.  Matt talks about Christian a lot and how great of a person he is, so I am excited to meet him + his family.  We will be spending 4 days in Stuttgart and *might go to Switzerland one of those days, but that's still not completely decided just yet.  Time will soon tell.

Frankfurt.

New meets old.  It's a more modern city with some pretty touches of the old country.  Cute.

Prague, Czech Republic.

While staying in Dresden, Janny thought it would be cool to also visit Prague.  It's relatively close, only a short train ride.  We wanted to drive, but our rental agreement with the car says that we're not allowed to leave Germany (which is like renting a car in PA and saying it can't leave the state! wtf?).  Like a lot of European history, I don't know much about Prague, but it looks pretty in the picture I found and whilst browsing some websites, it looks like a pretty cool place, full of incredible architecture.  Again, with a personal tour guide, how could I not have a good time in a place like this?

Dresden.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't know a lot about the city of Dresden, Germany.  I do know that it's the capital of the free state Saxony and it close to the Czech Republic.  Other than that, I know nothing.  Luckily, I have my own personal tour guide of this city!  Looking forward to seeing the old acrhitecture, it looks amazing.  Plus, getting some home cooked traditional German food by Janny's mom  yummy!

Hohenzollern Castle in the Black Forest.

This is one reason why I'm excited to go to the Black Forest.  Another reason lies below...

The worlds biggest coo coo clock!!

I was going to say 14 days, but 2 weeks just sounds better!

Drosselgasse, in Rüdesheim. 

It's a pub town.  YESSSSS.